The Possibilities Are Endless
We’re not naming any names… but we know of *someone* who used their medallion to start an office prank war for the ages.
If a prank war sounds like your style, may we suggest an opening prank suitable for any office? Replace the bologna in your coworker’s sandwich with the medallion. When they discover this piece of treasure where their beloved bologna once was, do your best to stay humble and discreet as they’re baffled by the source of the gift.
Sometimes giving the usual “compliments to the chef” just falls short. Send your medallion back to the kitchen when a meal really blows your mind!
During the holidays, there’s no need to invest in an outlandish Nutcracker. Just put your medallion to work and impress all your family and friends.
You probably have some friends that could use a little more fancy in their lives. Use your medallion to hypnotize them. They’ll thank you later.
We’ve got you covered.
Replace that employee of the month plaque. Medallions are the new thing and you should lead the trend.
Your daily morning brew could use a boost. Replace the coffee filter with your medallion for a coffee infusion that smells like limitless productivity.
There’s no limit to your medallion’s value. Attempt to use it as legal tender and see just what it could buy you. Wait, don’t do that- this thing is way too powerful to part with. Besides, if it fell into the wrong hands…
Heroes, especially heroes bearing this medallion, solve company problems. Go Office Space on that lousy copier when needed.
Share the love. Sometimes you stumble upon someone truly worthy (we know because we work with you!) Consider gracing them with the medallion, even if just for a time.
Just keep scrolling…
When evil business ju-ju comes your way. Ward them off by using your medallion as nunchucks.
We also recommend keeping this in your glove box. It could come in handy when a parking lot is uncomfortably barren.
You are a superhero. We know it and your kids know it. Spend the evening with your kids slaying the dragons or putting the Joker in jail!
Let’s be honest, with a medallion like this, you might as well buy a cape to match.
Get RID of that pesky fly the right way, with one swing of the medallion. Flyswatters don’t seem to cut it now a days.
It never ends…
Fluffy dice? Nah…the medallion brings the ambiance your car needs (We are not responsible for any drivers who periodically slam breaks and cause your medallion to operate according to the laws of physics.)
Nothing makes a steak perfectly tender like a good medallion smacking.
Hosting a nice event? Serve your guest of honor’s hors d’oeuvres on your fancy medallion.
Attending a nice event? Bring along your medallion and request that your hors d’oeuvres are served on it.
So you’re extremely comfortable in your chair and need to truly focus on some work, but you want to work with only your desk lamp. Give your medallion a nice throw in the direction of the light switch or overhead light and your problem is solved!
or does it?
It’s simple. Use your medallion as a coaster, but only for the finest libations (McDonald’s large coke.)
Even heroes have to do the occasional household chore. Go Mary Poppins on that “to-do” list and wear your medallion to make the medicine go down. Confession: Mary kept a medallion in her bag just for times like these.
Here’s a secret, your medallion’s fanciness can be used as a dryer sheet. It not only decreases static but it strengthens your delicates to true superhero quality.
Need a date for a company event? Update your Tinder profile picture with you wearing the medallion. Studies have shown that people wearing fancy medallions are irresistible!
Bring your fanciness to the next level. Using your medallion as a template, talk to Bernie at your local tattoo parlor. He’ll know what to do.
We’re totally serious about the Bonus Offer:
If you get the medallion in the hands of your fearless leader, we’ll take $1000 off your next video. Send the evidence using the form below.